It's only fair that my host, Michael V, have the chance to recall his memories of my trip...
      
             LIST OF 10 THINGS I CAN'T FORGET
   (or WHY I WOULD KILL MYSELF IF GARY COMES BACK TO AUSTRALIA )

 1. Gary's towel falling down to my friends' horror in their first meeting
     within an hour after his arrival in Sydney. I had specifically asked him
     not to embarrass me.*
 2. Taking the photo of my ass at The Harbor Party, once again
     embarrassing me in the glamour set.
 3. Gary falling asleep (passing out) at the most inappropriate times,
     causing me more embarrassment.
 4. Gary fucking all my friends, or at least asking them to
     show their asses, almost causing me social ruin.
 5. Not getting even one of the "supposed" fancy dinners he promised me.**
 6.  Overcooking a piece of some kind of white fish with freezer burn and serving it over clumpy white rice.  A colorless smorgesbord of blandness that looked and tasted like dirty snow.
 7. Gary's ever present ability to turn any situation into "his" situation.
     The discussions, the analysis, the coversations...the exhaustion!
 8. Gary 'watching me', correction, I meant to write 'stalking me', in my own apartment.
 9. He leaving more crumbs on my carpeting than Hansel and Gretal.   
10. Making my week wonderful & full of fun and love. Michael V
                                                                                          xxxxoooo  

*  To clarify number 1, Michael's friends had arrived early and I had just gotten out of the shower. I quickly put on a jock and wrapped a towel around myself so I could come out and say hi.   
   When Michael saw me, he yelled " Gary! I told you never to have a towel on
in front of my guests!"
   "I'm sorry, I forgot. No towel, " I said, ripping off my towel and standing in front of his friends only wearing my jock. "I'll never wear a towel in front of guests again."

 **  To clarify number 5, Michael was on his conference calls almost every weeknight, and on both The Harbor Party and Mardi Gras weekends, we forgot what 'dinner' even meant. Anyway, Michael eats as healthy and regimented as an Astronaut. He takes all the fun out of eating. The only thing he has at night is compressed tofu patties. He keeps no food at home so I had to do food shopping everyday at the Duffy's, the most expensive and gayest supermarket in the world, where mixed salad greens were $16 per pound.
    I'll be happy to take him out for a fancy meal when he comes here on a business trip two weeks from now. Deal?