Alex has been a big part of the blogs, both in the stories and behind the scenes. He helped me to set-up the blog (which means he did it completely for me) and watched as I hit 'POST' for the first time. He made the TRAVEL BLOGS possible with his amazing generosity and his great companionship. He's a real smartypants and a great counterbalance for my lowbrow behavior where ever we go. Including him in the blogs has been so much fun, and I still plan on him being in many future ones.
Have you figured out where this is going? Yes, he has entered the realm of my ex-boyfriends. It's a very special place to be, my personal variation of the Promised Land. No matter how I am as a boyfriend, it's guaranteed that I'll be better as an ex-boyfriend. It's actually the thing I do best. Let other guys try to strive to be the best boyfriends they can be. I'll just wait until it's over to really shine.
Over the years, it's been no small feat making sure everything stayed copacetic between me and my ex's. Some took longer than others. Adding Alex brought the number to three who live locally, and the other two, who live out of state, are just a phone call away. Back when it was four ex's and I spoke with all of them on the same day, I called it a 'Four Of A Kind'. Now it's a 'Full House' when I speak with all five on the same day. There's a magic about it, like a potion or a spell that needs the combination of their different voices to work. A room full of money couldn't make me feel as rich as I do on those days.
I actually have 6 official ex-boyfriends but number 5 made himself disappear. His name is Scott, which is also the name of my first boyfriend. To avoid confusion, the first Scott, The Good Witch, is known as Scott 1 and the fifth Scott, The Bad Witch, is Scott 5. Like most Bad Witches, Scott 5 is vindictive,calculating and extremely smart. He figured out the only real way he could hurt me would be to deny me a relationship with him as an ex-boyfriend if I ended our relationship.
"If you think I'm handing you my friendship on a silver platter like your other boyfriends you're in for a big surprise, Mister, " he sneered at me with his sleeves rolled up like a guy ready for an old-fashioned boxing match, but instead of his hands in the air ready to punch, they were on his hips, like Bette Davis.
" It's impossible, Scott. It's a small town and I won't give up until we're friends"
" I'm telling you, Gary.You break up with me and you won't exist in my life and I guarantee you I won't exist in yours. It's the easiest thing in the world for me to do. I did it to Patrick, and I'll do it to you."
" I'm not like Patrick. We can still be great friends Scott. I'll show you how easy it is."
" Don't waste your breath, you dumb ape. I don't need you as a friend. I have enough friends already."
" What are you talking about? You don't even have any friends."
" That's what 'enough' is to me. None. Some people don't need friends like you do,you stupid Prom Queen!"
Sure enough, he did what he said he would do. We both lived around The Castro, but we never spoke or even saw each other again. I'll never figure out how he possibly avoided me so well. How dare he, that Bitch!
Alex might think I'm an ape, but he certainly doesn't think I'm dumb. And our break-up was so mutual that we each said the words to each other at the same time, like a duet singing harmony. We both jumped off the ride at the same time so no one felt like he was left riding alone. For this and many other reasons, I know that Alex will not be like Scott 5, and we will be a special part of each others lives. And I will keep my promise not to write certain private things about him in any blog. Even though I would LOVE to!
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