EARLY TURN - OUT

      SANDRA S.STORM: REGISTERED DEMOCRAT 

   When Super Storm Sandy turned out to cast her vote a week before the presidential election, she made an unusual change in her path, sharply veering left (both literally and figuratively) instead of making a typical right turn out to sea. That put her perpendicular to the most densely populated stretch of the Northeastern coastline. It was time for some blue states to feel nature's fury. New York and New Jersey were going to have to prove they were as tough as they always acted.

    A direct hit to the center of President Obama's base of support meant that he would finally get the chance to come to the rescue of storm victims who actually don't hate him. Usually, he winds up having to console southern Republicans after their houses blow away to Oz. Some of these same folks still think Obama is the Devil's son even after he helps them. This time, it was New Yorkers and New Jerseyans who earned the honor of a Presidential Hug. It's a hug that you talk about for the rest of your life; a moment of intimate contact with greatness that has the power to make you a little greater too. 

    The storm victims, however, were not the only ones who couldn't keep their hands off Obama. After an entire day of Chris Christie watching Obama interact with such tireless grace and gentle authority, and seeing the President's genuine care, the seriousness of his concern, the hugeness of his heart, and the power of his charm, the Republican Governor apparently was starting to feel the overwhelming need to hug the President too.
                    
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    It all started off cordially enough with a professional handshake and a walk to Mariner One with Christie keeping his hands in his pockets. 

 

They took to the air to discuss serious matters face-to-face and knee-to-knee (this was probably when the Cabin Steward slipped an ecstasy pill into Christie's beverage, which could be one of the explanations for the Governor's touchy-feeliness.) 

But by the end of the day it looked painful for them to separate.

    

                                   

       Look at this happy couple. You could easily mistake them for a well-mannered black nerd taking a fat white lesbian to The Prom where they were voted Prom King and Queen. Obama is smiling so hugely because he knows he just won the upcoming election. Christie is smiling because he just made Romney lose the election and positioned himself as the only Republican above politics who's word will never be doubted and who's character never questioned when he runs for the Presidency in 2016. Some believe that Christie Creme ruined his career, but they'll eventually have to admit what Rice Christie knows already, that there is now no Republican with a better chance of winning than him. 

     The bear-hug he gave Obama squeezed the breath out of every die-hard Republican in the country. The Romney camp went crazy over Christie committing the ultimate sacrilege.

              GOP accuses Christie of GOP

                      ( Gushing  Over  President )

   The praise that Christie, being a Republican, gave the President, a Democrat, is truly stunning considering how dysfunctional politics are in this country. One of the only things more stunning is the fact that it is stunning. It is also stunning that a hug is being called heresy by some people, and it is equally stunning that it is being called heroic by others. What is even more stunning is that it might very well make Chris Christie the 45th President of The United States. 

    Governor Christie somehow managed to make himself even bigger, so to speak, than the man he is, while at the same time making Mit Romney even smaller a man than he already was. Christie became even bigger than Sandy. With all the devastation and havoc she caused, Sandy was still only considered to be a Category-1 hurricane because of winds only 90 miles /hour. That's nothing compared to the speed the news of and the havoc caused by Chris Christie embracing President Obama with the first ever-recorded Category-5 bear-hug with repercussions that could be felt for years to come.
    

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    It's commonly accepted knowledge that San Francisco is overdue for a major earthquake. If I survive it but have suffered sufficiently, I will be entitled to a Presidential Hug. I only want that hug to come from President Obama though, so the earthquake better happen within the next four years. If it doesn't happen by the start of 2017, it better not happen for a while.  I'd rather be crushed by a building than be crushed by a bear-hug from President Christie Creme.

     

   STUTTERVILLE continues in around two weeks

LANDSLIDE 2012 !!!

                                               OBAMACALM

     Four things I have in common with Barack Obama are that we were both born in 1961, we are both left-handed, we are both hated by rednecks, and we both voted for the same person for President. 

      Unfortunately, the things I do not have in common with Barack Obama make up a much longer list. Near the top of this list is the difference between the levels of calm that Obama and I each exude. Admittedly, my level of calm is on the low side. It could even be said that overall, I am basically not calm. In fact, to be perfectly honest, I am what I call uncalm, which is the complete opposite of calm, making it more severe than if I was just simply not calm. Being uncalm renders me incapable of sitting still in any seat, enjoying long or even short rowboat rides, birdwatching (which I've actually never done), praying for longer than 10 seconds, or taking any yoga class because I will absorb all the freed thoughts that everyone else around me has cleared their minds of.

    Recognizing my own uncalmness makes me acutely aware of the presence and degree of other people's calmness. This is what makes the President so amazing to me. He is not just calm. He is a level above calm. He is Obamacalm.    

     This Zen-like Obamacalm never wavers or falters, even when we think it will or wish it would. It seems to be his natural state, not something forced or affected, and is one of his most well-tested and dependable attributes. You don't have to know him personally or even be near him to sense it. It comes in perfectly clear over the airwaves for everyone to see and hear.  

OBAMA LAMA

       I try to envision the Barack Obama that we never see. I imagine him more playful and sexy than he allows himself to be in public. When he and Michelle are laying in bed watching CNN and the Minority Leader of the Senate comes on to accuse the President of being unwilling to compromise, how do Barack and Michelle react? I picture them looking at each other dumbfounded and then laughing as they throw either  Barack's slippers or Michelle's panties at Mitch McConnell's face on the screen. I hope that every time Senator McConnell comes on the air, Barack and Michelle make sure to have sex right in front of the TV, because nothing would bother a white southern Republican more than a black President fucking the First Lady in The White House.

         Dealing with McConnell and the rest of the Republicans in Congress during The President's first term has been a great testament to the power of Obamacalm. Time after time, I've had to sit and watch the President get stomach-punched by the GOP. Like so many other Democrats, I've been both astonished and frustrated by the amount of ill-will lobbed at him and how much of it he is able to ignore, while still trying to reach across the isle. Somehow he has maintained a level-headed, open-handed willingness to work with a Republican Party that ' has become an insurgent outlier in American politics. It is ideologically extreme; scornful of compromise; unmoved by conventional understanding of facts, evidence and science; and dismissive of the legitimacy of its political opposition' ( as described by Norm Ornstein in an article perfectly titled 'Let's just say it: The Republicans are the problem').

       Out of all the Machiavellian maneuvering and obstructing tactics the Republicans concocted to thwart President Obama, I have been most stunned by their acceptance of lying as a legitimate form of campaigning. Being a Republican used to mean you didn't have to be concerned about the environment, education, health care, the poor, the homeless, minority rights, the arts, and whatever children need after they aren't aborted. Now it seems being a Republican means you also don't have to care about the truth. From the top down, the Republican Party has mastered the language of claiming to be doing exactly the opposite of what they are actually doing. 
      As a Democrat, it's been infuriating to listen to the increasingly absurd transparency of lies spouted from the shared blow-hole of the GOP leadership. Republican politicians started to realize that lying about facts wasn't going to disqualify them from the race, and that if they say a lie enough times it becomes the truth. And if the lie is lucky enough to resonate, it becomes a soundbite. A good soundbite  is so valuable to Republicans because they are inflammatory without having to be explanatory, and it's easier than actual facts for their voters to remember. Republican campaigns are less about recruiting new converts than it is about energizing their base, who don't mind hearing lies from their politicians as long as they are the lies that protect the agenda of the party. Republican politicians have two conversations, one that tells what they want to do, like stopping abortion and gay marriage, and the other conversation is the kind that masks what they really want to do, like all the new voter I.D. rules to prevent non-existent voter fraud. The way they get away with it is by somehow getting the entire GOP to go along with the lie, without anyone breaking ranks. They all read from the same playbook, which seems to be written in invisible ink. It's a script that uses sacred words like ' reform' and 'improve' but not their true meanings. This is where the exquisite lie lies. And this is where Mit Romney comes in. 
       Romney was the guinea pig in what turned out to be a grand experiment that tested how much a politician could lie before it started actually having a negative effect. He was the perfect candidate and the perfect torch-bearer, or lie-bearer. President Clinton did, after all, point out at the Democratic Convention that only ' Romney has the brass balls to tell you something knowingly and repeatedly that isn't true.'

" Come on in! The waters not bad at all."

      Romney had been wading knee-deep in the River Of Lies for years, so he was already accustomed to being wet, and found the temperature of the water very comfortable. Even he was surprised at how easy it was to move around in water almost chest high. That was around the time that he decided he would only release two years of his tax returns because that's all he wanted to release. He didn't care if that was actually not sufficient. What was going to happen to him for not releasing more? Was he going to have to get out of the water? Nothing happened, he was right. 

    There were some politicians who watched him from the riverbank, some who only stuck their toes or maybe a foot into the river, and some who followed his signal into the water, but no one went as deep as Mit.
     The deeper he got, the more buoyant he became, and he floated with ease. But then with only time for one more lie, he chose the wrong lie to tell and the wrong people in the wrong city to tell it to. And the water was suddenly over his head. 

JEEP CHEROKEE or  THE ROMNEY HEARSE

Romney declared from a stage in front of thousands of assembly line workers that Jeep production was being moved to China, only hours after Chrysler announced the hiring of 1100 workers to help boost production of Jeep in Detroit. Chrysler immediately called a press conference to report Romney claim was fabricated.              


One of the best things about Mit Romney's love affair with lying was how it made President Obama seem even more honest than he already is. Only with Romney's unique kind of help could Barack Obama become something more than honest. Now he is Obamest.